Half a pipeline and … GO!

http://twitter.com/#!/CNN/status/182211785338793986

Hmmm … half a pipeline. That’s useful. Not sure how President Obama expects solve the fuel crisis and/or jobs crisis with half an oil pipeline, but hey.

This news, naturally, was ripe for the mockage.

Swell! We'll use buckets to bring it down from Canada! RT @brikeilarcnn BREAKING: Obama to expedite southern half of Keystone XL Pipeline

— Daniel Foster (@DanFosterType) March 20, 2012

Obama to fast-track southern half of the Keystone pipeline. Surely gas prices will fall immediately. http://t.co/ce2LJSBf

— Blake Hounshell (@blakehounshell) March 20, 2012

Biden: Obama's new plan to build half of the Keystone pipeline is the most audacious plan in the past 250 years.

— Cuffé (@CuffyMeh) March 20, 2012

Algae not panning out? RT @brikeilarcnn BREAKING: Obama to expedite southern half of Keystone XL Pipeline #tcot #p2

— RB (@RBPundit) March 20, 2012

FLASH: Obama only half-killed Osama Bin Laden. 🙁

— Cuffé (@CuffyMeh) March 20, 2012

Inspired by Obama's half-pipeline, I'm going to install a sprinkler system but not hook it up to a water supply.

— jon gabriel (@exjon) March 20, 2012

@ExJon They'll just shoot the oil in a 850 mile arc to southern pipeline. And they said pee-aiming wasn't a practical skill.

— Political Math (@politicalmath) March 20, 2012

BREAKING: Obama closes half of Gitmo.

— Cuffé (@CuffyMeh) March 20, 2012

Building only the last half of a pipeline is like building only the top half of a boat. #keystone

— jon gabriel (@exjon) March 20, 2012

Isn't having the southern half of a pipeline like only having the upper half of a cup?

— Jeremy (@knowsknothing) March 20, 2012

Half a pipeline approved by half a president? Yeah that pretty much makes sense.

— JavelinaBomb (@javelinabomb) March 20, 2012

I'm digging these new Obama half-policies. Unfortunately – and in spite of a tired cliche – Sandra Fluke is now half-pregnant.

— Cuffé (@CuffyMeh) March 20, 2012

@ExJon So are we building a pipeline not connected to anything?

— Nathan Wurtzel (@NathanWurtzel) March 20, 2012

So, Obama will approve half of Keystone pipeline that's already underway, but ignore part that actually gets to Canada/oil?

— Rory Cooper (@rorycooper) March 20, 2012

We're building half a pipeline. If Obama only spent half of his budget, we'd be in pretty good shape.

— Nathan Wurtzel (@NathanWurtzel) March 20, 2012

So now the President is for the Keystone XL pipeline? I was against the pipeline before for I was for the pipeline?

— theprez98 (总统) (@theprez98) March 20, 2012

What if they build a halfpipe all the way to the tar sands?

— Nathan Wurtzel (@NathanWurtzel) March 20, 2012

What a complete opportunist!! #ABOUTTIME @PoliticalTicker: Obama to fast track southern half of Keystone XL Pipeline – http://t.co/tpkijaNj

— Karen, RN (@kdubrn) March 20, 2012

So is Obama going to build the inside half of the pipe first or the outside half?

— Jim Jamitis (@anthropocon) March 20, 2012

Americans should respond to Obama approving building half the pipeline by giving him half the votes needed for reelection.

— Frank J. Fleming (@IMAO_) March 20, 2012

#ObamaHalfPolicies Death panels now just 50% deathy.

— Matt (@mdrache) March 20, 2012

Lemme get this straight. Obama is fast tracking half of a pipeline that he is unsure he can ever find a satisfactory route to complete?

— Lisa B. (@politeracy) March 20, 2012

The most audacious half-project in 500 years! MT @DanFosterNRO @brikeilarcnn Obama to expedite southern half of Keystone Pipeline #keystone

— Will Antonin (@Will_Antonin) March 20, 2012

#ObamaHalfPolicies We're going to open up ANWR for drilling, but only to Black & Decker.

— Caleb Howe (@CalebHowe) March 20, 2012

I'm glad Obama only gave half those guns to Mexican cartels. Whew.

— Cuffé (@CuffyMeh) March 20, 2012

With this latest move, the president has managed to simultaneously tick off opponents of the Keystone XL Pipeline (who view it as a betrayal of their — and his own — values) and supporters of the pipeline’s construction. He still thinks he can have his arugula and eat it, too.

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/03/20/half-a-pipeline-and-go/